How To Lose A Guy In A Week
by watchurback
Summary: Lily is on a mission: dating a guy and getting him to dump her within a week. Her target is James Potter. James, in the meantime, is on a bet: Gettin' Lily to admit her undying love for him in a week's time. rr
1. Default Chapter

**How to Lose a Guy in a Week**

Lily sat in her muggle home wearily. She was doodling in her notebook, during the summer holidays, while waiting for her English tutor to arrive.

Lily's parents had allowed her to attend Hogwarts on one condition: that she keeps track of muggle subjects such as maths, history and geography during the holidays. When she transferred to that magical academy she had graduated from muggle 6th grade. They didn't want her mind and skills to be at that level when it comes to these subjects forever. She was forced to 'catch up' with tutors' aid.

After the arrival of Ms. Smith her tutor, Lily had sat there being lectured on writing book reviews and report composition for half an hour. As if she wasn't already capable of writing them.

"Ok now your homework assignment is to," began her tutor "write a report entitled: How to Lose a Guy in a Week. Listen to these instructions carefully. You are to attract a boy and then do everything imaginable to make him dislike you; a 'what not to do to with your boyfriend' lesson for spinsters. He should dump you out of his own free will in a week's time or less. That's when I expect the report posted to me, pronto. Any questions?"

"Yes. Can I not do that tedious composition? School starts tomorrow," Lily complained "I'm a seventh year now and so I have a huge workload. In addition to that I have Head Girl duties. I'm sorry; I simply can't handle any extra task that's not even school related."

The teacher maintained a deadpanned expression for a few seconds. Lily thought she was standing up to depart. Instead, however, she took a breath and yelled.

"Mrs. Evans?"

Her mother was summoned to the call. Lily groaned.

"Your daughter has no wish to oblige her duty."

Mrs. Evans shot Lily a penetrating look.

"No homework…" she said bluntly "No Hogwarts."

Lily screamed exasperatedly.

"Fine! Fine! As futile as it is, I'll do it!" She glared at the teacher "when's it due, precisely?"

"Next Saturday. Goodbye."

After receiving her paycheck and leaving, Lily cheered. No more tutors until Christmas!

Two days later in Hogwarts, after attending a Prefect meeting, Lily beckoned to Natalie, her best friend, towards her.

Lily explained the 'tedious' work she had to do.

"And on top of that… I have to slowly break the boy's heart."

"You have to date and get dumped?" Natalie echoed, suppressing a smirk "why don't you go for James then? He'd finally cease badgering you when you drive him insane."

Lily's face brightened up.

"Oh Nat, you genius!" She squealed, squeezing her friend "That's an excellent idea! Potter, you're going to regret ever asking me out! 'Coz I shall finally go out with you!"

Lily walked down the halls in search of her potential boyfriend. She found him scolding a Prefect who had apparently attempted wrapping her arms around him.

"Must be the Potter charm then?" She said sarcastically, approaching them "Is that what attracts girls to you?"

James was taken aback. Lily had never genuinely spoken to him unless she was shouting, rejecting him or addressing him as fellow Head Boy during meetings. Then again, she was sarcastic.

"Attracts all except one girl," he said, grinning sadly at her.

"Until now," she added, and grimacing- she pecked him on the cheek.

James whooped in the air.

"Lily! You're finally mine!" He yelled excitedly, like a kid receiving his first Play Station 2 on their birthday.

"After two tormenting years we're finally going to be an item!" He twirled her and then out of pure joy hugged Sandra, the prefect he'd been scolding. "This is a dream come true!"

"Yeah, join me for breakfast tomorrow. I've decided to yield to your persuasions. 5.30am sharp." Lily stated, as Sandra walked off "Consider it a warm-up date, so don't be late!"

He calmed down. "Trust me, my beautiful Lily, you won't regret this. I'll loyally stick by you through thick and thin, until marriage officially brings us together."

"The phrase is, 'until death does us apart' and it's a wedding vow…" Lily said testily. "I've only agreed to see you, not marry you for Pete's sake. Chill."

"In that case," he said, going down on his knees "Lily my flower, I may not have a ring at the moment, but will you do me the honor of becoming my bride?"

"You said I won't regret this!" Lily replied icily.

James got up and apologized ferociously.

Lily, realizing that she needed to give him a genuine motive to stick by him for an entire week, pulled him into a Goodnight Kiss.

He watched, dazzled, as she pulled away and walked slowly into the direction of her dorm. He waited until she had disappeared before performing the Tango.

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Need reviews before I continue!


	2. Chapter Two

The three Marauders were awoken by the sound of James barging into the dorm, and then happily diving onto his bed as though it were a swimming pool- causing it to create a huge BANG noise.

"I thought we were past the phase where we'd wake each other up just for the heck of it?" Remus said grumpily, looking up at James from his bed.

"You guys are never going to believe this, but brace yourselves," James sang cheerfully, trying to stop himself from giving each and every one of his friends a hug. "LilndIgoiout!"

"Good for you James," Sirius said, trying to stifle a yawn and not sound too obviously uninterested simultaneously. Which was a difficult task. "But will you wait 'til morning next time to inform us that you pranked Lucius by giving him a snout? I mean it's a cool one and all, but it isn't like News Flash buddy."

"Are you guys like four years old?" James shouted, yet merit contaminated his commanding voice. "It's way too early for you to be in bed! Now get up and hear me out properly. Lily. And. Iaregoiut!"

"Oh come on James," Remus said, rubbing his eyes and snuggling under his blankets. "We're not retarded, we're just tired! I'm surprised you aren't too, considering we had to get up extra early to alter the Slytherin's breakfast and all. And so what if Lily ironed her merry-go-round?"

"Lily and I are going out."

Now the boys were wide awake.

"Whaaat?" Peter said, his jaw swinging open so that he appeared to possess an IQ of -15.

"You're joking." Sirius said flatly, unsure whether his best friend was pulling their legs.

Remus, on the other hand, smiled.

"Ah. That explains your ecstasy. Good for you buddy, good for you."

Upon noticing Remus's reaction, Sirius believed James. He shouted "Yahoooooo!" and pulled the latter into a huge hug.

"Congratulations." Peter muttered, watching the scene as if finding it difficult to comprehend.

"Finally!" Sirius shouted "After all those years! I'm so proud of you buddy! I'm extremely happy for you! And I want to be your best man! Oh, I'd also appreciate it if you name your first son after me… and, well what the hell. Give us details."

After hearing all about James's elaborate encounter with his new girlfriend, the Marauders had much to say.

"Was she hypnotized?" Peter wanted to know, receiving a pinch from Remus as a warning not to spoil James's happiness. Or at least not do it bluntly.

"Maybe it was a dare? She'd better not break your heart…" Remus said, "if not then it's a cause for celebration. You've finally achieved a goal you've been striving for, for too long. Let's go to the kitchen during dawn. Or are you going to spend it with her? The morning, that is. Come to think of it, you'd better not neglect us…"

"Whoa, slow down!" James said, smiling. "I won't forget about you guys."

Sirius took Remus's first statement to heart. "Maybe she was on some sort of dare. James, my man, I don't think this thing with Lily will last long. After all, it seems highly unlikely that she'd woken up one morning and thought: 'Hmmm… I think I'll start dating James from now on'. This is what seems to have happened here, though. I'd better warn her not to hurt you."

"What exactly are you implying?" James asked, his smile slowly melting. "I'm a little slow in the midst of my happiness."

"She might find you a put-off." Sirius concluded "You know the type of guys she likes. Sorry pal, but as your best pal I'm being honest here. And with Lily, it's more of lust than love isn't it? So she'd probably be a put-off herself after a while."

"Lily and my relationship will last long enough no matter what your theories are." James stated. "I've waited too long for this, as you are more than aware. I can assure you we'll make it work."

"How can you if she doesn't love you?" Remus said. "Did she actually tell you the L word?"

James looked pensive for a moment.

"Love grows in due course. She might not love me now, but she will soon."

"I doubt that James…"

"Trust me: she will. Probably even sometime nearby."

"Oh, I do love a good challenge." Remus said excitedly, forgetting his drowsiness and rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

"Fine then." Sirius said. "Would you like a month's time before she declares her undying love for you?"

"Sooner." James replied "How would you like to say in… a week?"

Sirius laughed at the absurdness. "You're on. I bet my new Fart Framer invention that it won't happen. Now you have to bet something equivalent to the specialness quantity of that, since you're so confident."

"Make it my mother's Music Box."

Remus gasped.

"You're willing to give that away?"

"I won't have to."

James's Mum had been mysteriously murdered in the previous year. James's father had assumed it was by a Death Easter- so he decided to devote the rest of his life working as an Auror for a profession. One of James's sentimental reminders of his mother was the Music Box she handed him a few days before her death.

So that was done. The bet was official before the four realized exactly how much fatigue invaded them so they retired into bed.

The following day approached too quickly.

James had decided to get up earlier than usual, to look extra special and prepare a gift. Much to the annoyance of his dorm-mates he was merrily humming in the process. He only ceased when Sirius could no longer tolerate it and so threw a pillow that was aimed quite well at his face. James's spluttering when feathers filled his mouth guaranteed no humming for a while.

He arrived at the Great Hall when the house-elves were placing food on the tables.

"Morning Mr. Potter," a house-elf by the name of Winno greeted him.

"Winno, you little favourite elf of mine!" James said, a little hyper. "You gotta do me a little favour, my good friend."

"Name it, sir."

"Be a sport and arrange some lilies on a vase between those two seats over there. For me and my lady friend."

The elf nodded in obedience and left to execute the request.

Lily was startled upon entering the Great Hall with Natalie, as she was beckoned to be seated opposite James.

"Oh, I feel so bad…" Lily told him as she sat down, not bothering to wish James so much as a good morning. "I've always promised my best friend that I'd be there for her always. Never did we ever have to separate over some guy. Even if it is for a little while."

"Oh," James said, taken slightly aback at her lack of etiquette display. "On the bright side, she isn't alone. Anyway, how did you sleep?"

"Quite well, thanks." Lily said, not bothering to ask him how his night oriented in return, while piling some salad onto her plate.

She faked a sneeze.

"Oh no, I'm allergic to most flowers. Did you get them because of my name? Surely you did. Well, my Dad told me that whoever would do that would be so not original nor clever, because it would be lame. Oh damn I sound ungrateful. Speaking of Dad, I miss him! Remind me to write to him later on."

"Ok. But let me let you this: You're not being yourself…" James said, loosing his tactfulness due to his confusion at Lily's ramblings. That can't be who she really was, can it?

Lily faked an offended look at the remark and then her expression softened.

"I guess I'm not much of a morning person then."

She pulled out a pocket mirror and inspected her lip-gloss.

"So did we have any homework?" She said, rearranging the food on her plate but not actually eating any of it.

"Yes we had to complete the-"

"This is so annoying," She interjected, getting up. "My lip-gloss had blended with my concealer. I have to be excused to the lavatories."

"Wait! I have something to give you." James said hastily, holding up a parcel.

"Oh that's so sweet. You shouldn't have." She snatched it off him and quickly unwrapped it.

It was a beautiful doll with emerald green eyes and auburn hair that resembled Lily so much.

"Oh," she said, maintaining a grateful expression. She pecked him on the cheek with gratitude and headed off.

James watched as Lily carelessly plopped the doll onto a first year's lap after telling her something.

Something weird was going on with that girl. He sincerely hoped that it was just in the passing.

Lily, meanwhile, high-fived Nat, whom met her outside the Great Hall. She felt bad for him. He was being nice to her after all.

But duty was duty.

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AN: Thanks ever so much for my outstanding 9 reviews! You reviewers were my motivation of posting this chapter. I hope it lives up to the first one.

Fille-chicka143: Lily only sounded American due to the word 'Chill.' But such slang words are contagious so we can assume Lily corresponds with an American pen-pal. And I did slow down in this chapter. I hope it's obvious.

To everyone else: Yes, it's based on the movie plot of 'How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days'- however, as you've noticed I'm sure: the scenes, characters and general atmosphere is original.

Please keep up the rate of reviews I'm receiving! I practically write for them.


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